Have you ever felt totally out of strength? Like there’s no way you can keep pushing on? Have you ever felt like your efforts aren’t enough, regardless of the work you put in? Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to those around you?

If you have, you’re not alone. That has been me this week (really, the last month if I’m being honest). If you’re still in school like I am, we’re approaching the end of the semester, and deadlines are stacking up. To spare you the description of everything going on in my head right now, I can sum it up by saying I’ve been stressed, worried about transitions in my life that are happening soon, and sometimes I tend to dwell in my own head too much about personal things I struggle with. I’m writing this a few days later than I had planned for those reasons.

Sometimes, stress overtakes us. We struggle to measure up to the standards we set for ourselves, or the standards others set for us. There’s a huge societal pressure to be the best at whatever it is we do, or to look a certain way, or to have a certain number of friends, or to behave a certain way. Stress levels in the U.S. have been rising for years, as have eating disorders, cases of mental health issues, and prescription drug abuse.

Then comes the poisonous thought “I’m not good enough.” I’ve struggled to sleep at times this semester because of it. I’ll get home at 3am after spending all day on campus working, totally exhausted, and then stare at the ceiling for hours until I can fall asleep because my mind refuses to rest.* I worry about what the next day holds, and if I’ll have the strength to push through it. I feel unqualified, weak, and outmatched by the standards that society and I have set upon my life.

But here’s the catch: I don’t need to be good enough.

Wait… what?

I don’t need to be good enough.

Because God is.

It’s amazing how, just a week after Easter, I’ve already needed to be reminded of that again. I encourage you to take 20 minutes to read Romans chapters 1 through 8, where Paul is talking all about justification and redemption through faith. Romans 3:23, which almost anyone who owns a bible knows, says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” But, far too often, we stop reading there. The very next verse says “…and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ.” Christ died to be our atonement, to be more than good enough to satisfy the law which we never could. The Old Covenant, which required perpetual sacrifice and a perpetual “self-cleaning” process just to be allowed to dwell within the city, was put to death and Christ, the perfect, spotless lamb paid the debt that we never could to establish our New Covenant with him.

One of the pressures I put on myself is the thought of “I love God, so why am I still sinning?” It makes me angry with myself. I see the things that trip me up and sometimes hate myself for it. Romans 7:14-15 says “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” It’s an easy trap to get caught in.

But then, in verse 24, Paul proclaims “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.

One of my favorite songs by Kings Kaleidoscope called “Felix Culpa” talks about this same struggle and about the redemption at the end of it.**

“See the God who reigns on high, He has opened His own veins

From His wounds a rushing torrent that can wash it all away

Grace upon grace, upon grace upon grace”

I typically scream that last line to myself when singing in the car. GRACE UPON GRACE, upon grace, upon grace. Grace that never ends. Grace everlasting that never runs out, and that always atones beyond what we can ever do to earn redemption.

When we’re struggling to measure up to the standards we wish to, it’s also important to know that God is walking with us every step of the way. My church small group leader likes to say “God doesn’t always call the qualified, but he qualifies the called.”

God called Moses, a man who states that he is “slow of speech and tongue” to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. God called David, a scrawny shepherd boy looked down upon by his family, to be the most prominent king in the bible. And God still continued to use him even after his horrible sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11) to be a powerful king, the writer of most of Psalms, and one of the most notable men of God in the bible. God still used Peter after he betrayed Jesus after the crucifixion. God used Saul/Paul, who spent most of his life persecuting and executing Christians, to lead the early church and to write a huge portion of the New Testament which we have today.

Something I like to say to myself and to friends who have big exams and deadlines coming up is to not worry because “you’ve got this, and God’s got you.” It’s cheesy, but it’s the truth. Sometimes we don’t measure up, sometimes we fall short or feel like we’re not good enough. That is perfectly normal and part of our nature as humans. But what we cannot forget, what we cannot lose sight of, is that God paved the way. God is enough. God is with us and for us. Romans 8:37 says we are “more than conquerors through him who loved us.” We must remember to walk in that promise and to never lose sight of the one who gives us strength and paves the way for us.

 

Related Music

“Felix Culpa” – Kings Kaleidoscope

“Here and Now” – United Pursuit

“Death Was Arrested” – North Point InsideOut

 

*If you, like me, sometimes have trouble sleeping, I recommend putting on some good worship music on a low volume for a little while. Albums I’ve been using for this purpose are United Pursuit’s “Simple Gospel” live album (which has been on repeat for me for months now), and Housefires’ “Housefires III.”

**For those interested, the definition of Felix Culpa in Christian theology is “the sin of Adam viewed as fortunate, because it brought about the blessedness of the Redemption”